Eulogies for fathers often default to a list of accomplishments — the job, the house he built, the years of service. Those facts matter, but they're not what people came to hear. Tell the room what it felt like to be his kid, in one scene, and let the accomplishments live in the background.
An example, in this voice
My father was not a man who said 'I love you' more than a few times a year, but he checked the tire pressure on my car every single Sunday for eleven years without ever once mentioning it. I found out by accident, watching from the window. That was the whole language he spoke fluently: attention disguised as maintenance. I used to wish he'd just say it. Now I think he found a better way — he said it every week, in a language that never once needed translating.
Yes, if it's true to who he was. A well-placed piece of humor, especially something only the family would recognize, often gives the room permission to breathe. Just keep the balance toward warmth over comedy.
What if my relationship with my father was complicated?
You can be honest without being unkind. Many effective eulogies acknowledge complexity in one plain sentence, then focus the rest on a genuine moment of connection or growth. You don't owe anyone a version of the relationship that wasn't true.